Top Ten Bizarre Amazon Products

Number Ten:

Okay, you gotta admit, this guy's kind of cute.  I could actually see him as part of the decor in a lodge.  He's not too bizarre, but we'll partner him up with his friend at number ten...still it's not unheard of for a raccoon to be hunkering down on some cracker jack, so while both are kind of strange things to be buying online, they are pretty high up in the cuteness factor

 













Number Nine:
Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure.  Yep, that's her!  Great gift for a single girl on her 40th birthday (NOT).  Actually kind of funny and not cute at all like our previous friends.  Described on Amazon, "hard vinyl figure has a wild look in her eye".  Come to think of it, I have never heard of a crazy cat MAN...but I know they exist, as the show animal hoarders was a sick guilty pleasure for a while.





Number Eight:
It's a classic, bacon band-aids.  I'm kind of fond of this one, and it has since branched off into pickle band aids, bacon flavored dental floss, and many more.  I thought it was probably best to leave well enough and funny enough alone, but we can all use more laughs!






Number Seven:
Kind of amusing; however, I have actually seen shows about people who use prayer as their only dieting tool.  Not sure prayer and frito dogs with melted cheese would really work but mmmmmm....frito dogs with melted cheese...yet I digress, Dieting with Jesus would be a funny addition to any fridge, but I would not stick it on the file cabinet of the chubby guy at the office.








Number Six:
The much anticipated Doody Head Velcro Cap Poo Flinging Game.  I know many of you have been anxiously awaiting the arrival of this classic!









Number Five:
If you've ever yearned for something to do whilst sitting apot.  I know with my toddler running around, toilet trips are full of pause and leisure (insert sarcasm here).  Great gag gift methinks.






Number Four:
Wonder if anyone's ever tried to go through airport security with this one!






Number Three:
Ideal way to dash the childhood innocence of anyone under the age of ten.









Number Two:
Normally I stay away from bitter breakup items; however, this one pulled it off with grace and charm.  It's actually really cool looking, and would be a wonderful housewarming present for someone who just had to relocate for relationship purposes.







And Finally, At the prime Number One Spot...
still number one after all this time...
and really the best part of this item (as I believe it is no longer available) is reading the reviews.  Take a look any time you need a good laugh.

JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank

Only $20,000!

Top Ten Funny Books On Amazon

Top Ten Funny Books On Amazon

1.  How To Live with a Huge Penis: Advice, Meditations, and Wisdom for Men Who Have Too Much ; by Richard Jacob and Owen Thomas.

2.  How to Raise Your I.Q. by Eating Gifted Children

by Lewis B. Frumkes.

 3.  Awkward Family Photos by Mike Bender and Doug Chemack

4.  The People of Walmart: Show and Awe, by Andrew Kipple, Adam Kipple and Luke Wherry

5. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen, Seth Grahame-Smith

6.  Pets Who Want to Kill Themselves by Duncan Birmingham

7.  Regretsy, Where DIY meets WTF by April Winchell

8. Passive Aggressive Notes, by Kerry Miller

9. The Self Destruction Handbook, by Adam Wasson and Jessica Stamen

10. Texts from Last Night: All the Texts No One Remembers Sending by Lauren Leton and Ben Bator

Crazy Product of the Day...Uranium Ore!

One of the funniest things about checking out some of the crazy stuff that is sold on Amazon is reading the reviews...and Uranium Ore certainly doesn't let you down when it comes to creative writing!


This is an actual sample of Uranium Ore, and apparently it's quite useful for testing your geiger counter...and I know I am always looking for ways to test my geiger counter.

Get your own Digital Geiger Counter

One of my favorite reviews states: "I'm so glad I don't have to buy this from Libyans in the parking lot at the mall any more".

Other funny reviews:

• I bought this to power a home-made submarine that I use to look for prehistoric-era life forms in land-locked lakes around my home town in Alaska. At first I wasn't sure if this item would (or could) arrive via mail, but I was glad to see it showed up with no problems. Well, almost no problems.
  
  Unfortuantly my mom opened my mail, because she does not respect people's privacy. She was pretty upset to see Uranium Ore. After a long argument and me running away from home again, she finaly stopped being such an idiot and I was able to get back to work.
  
  The quality of this Uranium is on par with the stuff I was bying from the Libyans over at the mall parking lot, but at half the price! I just hope the seller does not run out, because I have many projects on my list including a night vision sasquatch radar, an electromagnetic chupakabra cage, a high velocity, aerial, weighted Mothman net and super heated, instant grill cheese sandwhich maker.
• I strongly recommend this product. The results were spectacular after used this in a science experiment. My basement is destroyed and my neighborhood has been quarantined from the rest of the town by the government, but it was worth it.
• I had purchased uranium ore
  I regret that I didn't buy more
  I had only mutated halfway
  When the cia took me away
  Wonderful, marvelous uranium ore
  It murdered the cat and it burned through the floor
  But alas, as I was poor-fated
  I ran out before I was mutated
  Now my left side is green, droopy, hairy and I look
  Like part stroke victim part stephen king book
  This is my ode to uranium ore
  I loved thee yet I needed some more.
  PS fyi the shipping costs are a liiiittle bit pricey. Might want to think of adjusting it, just a hair.
• I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.
• Picked this up for use in one of my kid's 'diversity' projects in school (Great Success!), and stuck the leftovers in the cabinet next to the baking soda.
  
  Ran out of toothpaste, and remembered how you're supposed to be able to use baking soda to clean your teeth, so of course, I accidentally used this instead, and Wow! all I can say is, my teeth have never been cleaner! They sparkle, they tingle, and for some reason, they STAY clean now, no matter what. Highly recommended!
  
  However, when I ran out of that fire-ant killer powder stuff, I figured I would try some for that too.
  
  Big mistake!
  
  Boy, it sure did not kill those ants!
  
  Fortunately, those suckers get slower as they get bigger, so I have been able to use a shovel to take care of most of them, one at a time though, the sneaky devils.
  
  And the darn trash man refuses to take them away..
  
  I would have given this product 5 stars for the teeth and the project on embracing diversity, but I deducted one star because of the giant mutant ants.
• Since buying this product from Amazon I am now invincible at croquet and can sing all of Andy Williams' songs (since 1974) at the same time. What's more, I'm able to change night into day with a small shake of my mandibles, and have just worked out how to make cheese on toast levitate. I would write more, but I'm needed in the ionosphere.

Of course, all joking aside, I'm pretty sure they don't want you to eat this or rub it on your body in any way; but it is kinda funny that you can buy uranium on Amazon!